


A Lost In Illinois Cornfield Adventure

by TransKyejo



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Corn - Freeform, I accidentally created a corn cult, I can't write long chapters to save my life, I cannot believe kat let me do this, Kiibouma, M/M, crack fic actually taken seriously, does this count as a slow burn, it's a cornfield, jesus take the wheel, more corn, more tags to be added probably, so much fucking corn, this came from a discord conversation, this is god's mistake, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-01 03:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13286124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransKyejo/pseuds/TransKyejo
Summary: This all originally started because I had a kiibo crying avatar on discord. How did this happen and why did I take this seriously





	1. Corn-Filled Hell

Kiibo 'woke up', as in, he rebooted after going into sleep mode, but either way, he looked around and found that he wasn't in his dorm at Hope's Peak anymore. He was laying down, in the middle of a cornfield. He sat up, and continued to scan the area, confused about how he got here, or, where exacty 'here' is. There's just...Corn. Corn everywhere. If Kiibo doesn't find a source of electricity or his way back home, how will he charge? But how is he going to find a way back? For a very intelligent AI, he can't find an answer to any of his own questions. It's not like he's been in a situation like this before, let alone be prepared for it.  
He stands up and dusts himself off, still looking for some sort of sign or information of any kind, since so far, nothing has made much sense. All he knows, is he's in a cornfield somewhere, he's never seen it before, and he's...scared? Alone? He's never been this lost before.  
Kiibo's search for answers lead him to start walking around this corn-filled hell, and finally, he manages to see a sign in the distance. A literal sign, that says 'Welcome to Illinois'. Illinois is... A North American state? How did he manage to get here while he was asleep? Now he has more questions than answers, but hey, at least he has a general idea of his location now.  
He continues to wander around, hoping to find some sort of exit of what he only assumed was private property. The corn seemed well kept, and farmland is usually owned by someone, he hoped he wasn't accidentally tresspassing or anything-

Wait.

What was that noise?

It sounded like rustling, like there was something moving through the corn, but Kiibo was standing still, in a small clearing. Did this mean there was something in here with him? Is it dangerous? Is it the owner of this land coming to personally kill him for attacking their cornfield? These thoughts swirled around in the robot's head, sparking fear in his circuits and causing him to involuntarily sit on the ground and curl up in a ball.  
The rustling stops, followed by a familiar voice.

"Kiiboy?"

At the mention of that bad nickname, he looked up to see the exact face he expected. Childlike, purple hair, and... Oddly red? Had he been crying? Kiibo couldn't help but sound slightly concerned for the boy in his reply.

"Ouma?"

They spent a few minutes doing nothing but staring at each other. At least Kiibo wasn't alone, but, how did Ouma get here? How long has he been here? How are they possibly going to get home? Why are they in a cornfield in North America? Kiibo could only assume the same questions were being asked by Ouma's mind as well, but neither of them could really provide answers. The short boy speaking in his usual teasing tone snapped him out of his thought process.

"Aw, has Kiiboy been crying~? It's just a little bit of corn, nothing a piece of metal can't handle, riiight?"

"Do not mock me! It looks like you were crying too!"

He falls silent. It appears Kiibo had been right. He's.... Really taking his time coming up with a comeback.

"...Whatever. Where are we? Hell or something?"

"According to a sign I found, we're in a cornfield somewhere in the North American state of Illinois, for some reason."

"That name sounds stupid. Are you sure we're not in Hell?"

"Yes, Ouma, I'm sure."

After that conversation that lead them to no answers to any questions, they decided to continue wandering around the cornfield aimlessly together. Ouma, of course, decides to also make sarcastic comments.

"Don't you have access to Google Maps or something?"

"That's robophobic to assume! Although, if there was an Internet connection..."

"Oh, don't tell me the hunk of metal doesn't have it's own Wi-Fi Hotspot!"

"Hey!"

Not much may make sense at the moment, and they're both still lost very far away from home, but at least they can wander around and not feel as lonely anymore. Although, they're still stuck in an Illinois cornfield.


	2. We're not going to die.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit this was way too dialog heavy- Sorry it took so long! But here it is,,,,, chapter 2 of god's mistake.

Kiibo wouldn't lie, he did not think he would be spending time with Ouma in a cornfield of all places. Of course, perhaps a movie, or maybe going out shopping, but definitely not a cornfield in some Midwestern state in North America. However, there they were, wandering around, surrounded on all sides by seemingly endless rows of corn. There was no exit in sight.

Kiibo could last a while without charging if he really needed to, but he worried more about Ouma. Being human, he'd need food and water. The food situation seemed to be taken care of. Water was a different story. 

Why are cornfields so hard to navigate?

"Kiiiiiiboooooy."

Apparently, Kiibo's mind started to drift several minutes ago, and of course, Ouma must have grown tired of talking to himself.

"Kiiboy! Get your head out of your shiny metal ass for a second! This is important!"

"Ah, my apologies. What were you saying?"

"Reallyyy? Aw, now I have to start all over! I was trying to think of how we're going to get home! Wow, Kiibstar, what a great time to space out!"

"I said I'm sorry! I just have a lot on my mind right now..."

"Hmm? What's the pile of scrap metal thinking about?"

"...The amount of corn here is overwhelming. I cannot seem to see an exit in any direction. I'm worried about your health."

"...My health?"

"Yes, Ouma. Your health. Food and water are a necessity, correct? I'm concerned about you not getting the proper amount of water if we happen to be stuck here."

"Pfft. That almost sounds like you care about me or something."

"Of course I do. I'm your friend, aren't I?"

The shorter teen fell silent.

There was a long minute of silence, aside from the sounds of the wind through the corn and what sounded like a distant, busy road. Kiibo slowly became more concerned.

"Hah! I got you! You should've seen the look on your face! Yes I'm your friend, you dumb robot."

"...Sometimes I really can't understand you."

"Nishishi... Ugh, can we take a break? My legs are getting tired! Why is there so much corn everywhere, anyway?"

"Well, it is a cornfield... We can stop for now."

They both sat down in a small, dry clearing.

"So. Do robots have dic-" 

"Why are you asking that again?" 

"If we're going to die here, I at least don't want to die without knowing the answers to my biggest questions, Kiiboy!" 

"Ouma, I'm sure we're not going to die here." 

"Now that I think about it, I don't wanna die a virgin either, buuut maybe that can't be helped."

"We're not going to die. I'm sure we'll be fine."

"Don't get your hopes up too high, Kiibot. Learned that from experience- But, maybe that was a lie!"

Kibo suddenly pulled Ouma into a hug. 

"Trust me. We're not going to die out here. I promise."

"Kiiboy... I'm shook. Hey, can robots be gay?" 

"Why ask that all of a sudden? But to answer your question, I suppose so... I can feel romantic attraction to boys." 

"...So are you gay?" 

"Can we not talk about this right now?" 

"Aww, is the robot embarrassed?" 

Ouma poked the taller boy's cheek until his hand was pushed away.

"Stop it- Shouldn't we be talking about how we're going to get out of here?"

"But Kiiboooooy, that's booooring!" 

They ended up getting into an argument. Again.  
Not a lot changes for these two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have accidentally created a kiibouma shipping corn cult.  
> I regret nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey if you wanna see more of this trainwreck or just really like how I wrote it please give me validation and attention that would be amazing  
> this is the worst idea I have ever had but I'm having fun with it  
> sorry it's so short I just really wanted to get this started yEet


End file.
